While looking through my album of narcissistic pictures (and those taken with my bestfriend -who's always there for me) during the downest period of my life, which was a few months back, I realised that I was truly affected by that particular event which went on for quite a long time. In those pictures, I looked different somehow. I guess I was really in a bad shape - sullen, puffy eyes, pale face, thin and frail. My appetite left me for quite a while, my smile was greatly forced, and I couldn't laugh for long. Everything seemed heavy, as heavy as my heart.
Then there came a day, where I stopped torturing myself. I started going down on my knees more often. I felt more calm, more guided and somehow at peace. My trust in Him increased and I learnt to be grateful for every single thing that I still have, big or small.
Along the way, I made new friends who gave me new insights on life. Who gave me meaningful advices and brought smiles and laughters back into my life. They showed me how to live, without being too overly stressed about anything, and to just enjoy and find joy in the littlest of things. (Eg. poking fun at each other and making memes.)
Despite all these changes, some parts of me are still the same. I'm still stubborn and unrelenting at times. And I still have my fighting spirit. That's why I'd do extra prayers to get answers and blessings before doing things I'm unsure of. Like now.
Something I'd deem as crazy. But YOLO -you only live once, and you only love once.
